tracilyns

yhf:

daniellei:

The only thing that is going to make me feel any better is a smooch from you.

So please pucker up and lay one on me.

You’re going to have to brace yourself. A first smooch from me is like going to the moon. Sure, you may do it again and again, but the first time is like rockets. Or something. I don’t know. I ate some pills I found at my cousin’s house. It made sense then. Here goes—

OW. Okay — no, I’m sorry, it’s my fault, I have depth perception problems and I misjudged how far I’d have to go. Thank God I didn’t bump into you at that velocity! Good God. Is the couch okay? Ah, Jesus. I’m sorry. No, I wasn’t going to bite! My teeth just do this THING when there’s fabric involved—look, it’s not important.

I’m so sorry. I’ll pay for the reupholstering. Look, I’m just gonna get my stuff and—I’m just gonna go. Oh, God. This is so embarrassing. Look, just please don’t tell Don and Mike and the guys about this? I won’t say anything either, I’ll just say we had a nice time after the antiques show and I dropped you off at your door and we said a polite good night. Oh, sweet Jesus I want to crawl under a rock—look, I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Good night.